There is often concern that a doula will take the place of dad in the delivery room. Nothing could be further from the truth! Dads and doulas make a great team.

No one can encourage and love a mom more than her man.  Most fathers are excited and prepared for their role as supporter; they attend childbirth classes, read books, have plans. Many times, however, when faced with a wife in pain, unfamiliar circumstances, strange smells, sights and sounds, the best laid plans fly out the window. They forget what they have learned about childbirth. They don't quite know what to say or where to help. Added to that are their own fears and anxieties. They need to know that things are okay; having that assurance frees them up to be confident and supportive of their wives.

Often times, this is the first time a dad has been present with a woman in labor. A doula has experience with laboring women. She can explain what is happening and encourage the father that everything is healthy and normal. While mothers are the ones in labor, dads exert a lot of energy as well. They are experiencing a lack of sleep, a lack of food, adrenaline and anxiety. A doula can encourage the father to relax, rest and free him up to take breaks as he needs. Knowing that his wife is having constant care, he is able to leave the room if needed and find his own level of comfort. There are also times the doula can handle things for dad, so he can remain focused on mom.

A doula can’t make decisions for a couple. She can explain what is happening and what the options are when it comes time to make those decisions. This helps dads feel more in control and empowers both mother and father to make choices to obtain the birth they desire.  She can also guard the privacy of the laboring couple, helping to avoid unnecessary disruptions and assisting other family members.

Doulas encourage fathers to be as hands on and involved as they desire. A doula can give suggestions and encourage the father to touch, talk and help in ways that he is truly comfortable with and that are comforting to the mother. A doula can also allow dads to relax and just enjoy the moment.

Birth is a highly emotional and rewarding time for both parents, and many dads just want to experience the moment. Without the pressure to perform, fathers can experience fully the joy and wonder of watching their babies come into the world.